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STOCK MARKET SHOCKER: Trump Jr.’s Gun Empire Takes a Wild Plunge!
GrabAGun’s Launch Turns into a Rollercoaster Ride! Investors STUNNED!
In a shocking twist, shares of GrabAGun—a gun retailer cradled in the arms of none other than Donald Trump Jr.—went haywire on its debut! The market went from BOOM to BUST as investors tried to wrap their heads around the latest anti-woke sensation.
This online gun haven, which Trump Jr. boldly declared was “built for the next generation of firearms enthusiasts,” hit the New York Stock Exchange this Wednesday, trading under the explosive ticker PEW (yes, it’s a cheeky nod to gunfire!). But hold onto your hats—shares plummeted a jaw-dropping 24% right off the bat! Talk about a heart-stopping start! Though it managed to claw its way back slightly, it still closed down 12%. Yikes!
“We’re Here to Defend Your Right to Bear Arms!” — GrabAGun CEO Takes a Stand!
Marc Nemati, the fearless captain of GrabAGun, ranted on Trump Jr.’s podcast, Triggered, declaring the platform was laser-focused on “younger buyers,” the kind who shop online like it’s a Friday night joyride. He fumed about the "woke" advertising giants that have turned their backs on good ol’ gun retailers, calling GrabAGun’s public offering a glorious “middle finger” to their elitist attitudes!
With Trump’s 2024 victory injecting new life into the so-called “patriotic parallel economy,” companies waving the flag against so-called “woke” corporate America have struck gold lately. Trump Jr. is ON FIRE! He’s not just a passionate supporter; he’s a consultant for GrabAGun, flaunting it on social media and even owns a whopping 300,000 shares in an affiliate.
The Gun Game Gets an Upgrade: Is This the Amazon of Firearms?
Omeed Malik, a former Bank of America hotshot turned financial guru for the MAGA economy, operates the SPAC that GrabAGun merged with. He describes this Texas-based venture as the “Amazon of guns.” Can you say GAME-CHANGER?
PublicSquare, another brainchild of Malik, is busily raking in cash through selling red meat and “natural health” remedies while financing gun purchases—including those from GrabAGun! They even offer a “shoot now, pay later” plan. It’s like a credit card for bullets, folks!
A Shifting Landscape: Corporate America in Turmoil!
In a bold move, US banks are feeling the heat from the Republican party to rewrite their rules on diversity and reevaluate their dealings with the oil and gas industry. Even the corporate gun policies are shifting! Citi recently reversed its restrictive stance on firearm companies, asserting, “We do not discriminate on the basis of political affiliation.”
GrabAGun, which has been exhilarating yet polarizing since its establishment in 2007, boasts revenues of $93.1 million and holds the necessary licenses for retail sales. But don’t forget—buyers must pass background checks before they can walk away with their shiny new arms!
In a world where sentiments shift faster than a magazine clip, GrabAGun stands at the center of a brewing storm. Will Trump Jr. steer his newfound empire to glory, or is this just the beginning of a turbulent saga? Buckle up, folks—the drama has only just begun!
photo credit: www.ft.com
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