NASA Forces Rocket Scientists to Reduce Achievements to App Jargon!

NASA makes rocket scientists use an app to list accomplishments

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NASA BRINGS IN BIG BROTHER: New App MONITORS YOUR EVERY MOVE!

Hold onto your hats! NASA is about to unleash a game-changing app that will have agency workers logging their weekly accomplishments like never before! Why? In a shocking twist of government efficiency pushed by none other than Elon Musk himself!

“The Future is Now!” – An electrifying email from Acting NASA Administrator Janet Petro has revealed the launch of this “weekly accomplishments app,” designed to keep tabs on what YOU’re doing at work. Get ready to share the “incredible work” you do — or else!

Musk’s Iron Fist: The billionaire tech mogul, now leading the Department of Government Efficiency under President Trump, sent shockwaves through the federal workforce when he demanded that TWO MILLION employees report their weekly achievements by email! Miss the deadline? Better watch your back, because job security might be on the line!

This drastic move has activists and employees crying foul! Numerous cabinet secretaries have outright told their workers to just ignore Musk’s demands, expressing fears that such emails could jeopardize national security. Talk about a recipe for CHAOS! The White House quickly stepped in to calm the storm, assuring workers that the axe wouldn’t fall if they didn’t comply with Musk’s email — instead, follow your agency’s orders!

Unrest in the Ranks: As federal employees grapple with the unsolicited weekly reminders, you can bet confusion reigns! Agencies are doling out varied instructions on how to respond, leaving many workers scratching their heads in disbelief!

But there’s no escaping NASA’s new app! Designed to keep track of every little thing you do, this app promises to give employees a “running record” of their achievements. But is this really a tool for empowerment, or just a high-tech way to keep everyone under the microscope?

Meanwhile, just days before this shocking announcement, NASA sent waves through the agency by shutting down TWO OFFICES and laying off workers as part of Trump’s executive overhaul. Talk about a double whammy!

And let’s not forget the dark cloud looming over NASA as they wait for the final verdict on Trump’s nominee for administrator, Jared Isaacman—who just so happens to have lavished Musk’s SpaceX with a staggering $27.5 million!

In her desperate attempt to reassure employees, Petro stated, “I will continue to submit weekly accomplishments…” Will this app actually help or just spark MORE chaos? One thing’s for sure — the pressure is mounting, and NASA is about to get a lot more "efficient"! Buckle up, folks — the government just got a lot more intense!

photo credit: fortune.com

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Source: USD @ Fri, 9 May.