GOLDMAN SACHS GUSHES OUT $126.5 MILLION TO TOP DOGS – WHILE YOU SCRIMP AND SAVE!
Hold onto your hats, folks! Goldman Sachs has just unleashed a jaw-dropping 30% pay RAISE to its A-list executives for 2024! That’s right, while everyday employees are counting pennies, the elite four are pocketing a staggering $126.5 million – up from a mere $97 million last year. Talk about living large!
MEET THE HIGH-ROLLING EXECUTIVES!
Leading the pack is the big boss, John Waldron, raking in $38 million, while finance chief Denis Coleman strolls away with a cool $27 million. And let’s not forget the general counsel, Kathryn Ruemmler, who’s also smiling all the way to the bank with $22.5 million! The chief executive, David Solomon, raked in $39 million last year, just in case you were wondering who the kingpin really is!
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! PRIVATE JET PERKS ON THE RISE!
Goldman is rolling out the red carpet for Waldron, allowing him personal use of the company’s swanky private jet. Yup, you heard that right! Previously a luxury reserved for Solomon, Waldron now gets to soar high in the skies at the bank’s expense – all in the name of "security and efficiency." Sounds like a sweet deal to us!
Oh, and did we mention that Waldron snagged an $80 million retention bonus and a shiny seat on the board? Who knew keeping talent meant showering them with millions and a jet-setting lifestyle?
GOLDMAN’S POCKETS ARE OVERFLOWING!
With profits skyrocketing 71% to a mind-blowing $13.5 billion this year, thanks to skyrocketing investment banking fees and dodging losses from a disastrous retail banking venture, the financial giant is cashing in like never before! Their share prices have rocketed nearly 50% – so it’s all about winning at Goldman while the rest of us figure out how to fill up our gas tanks!
A TALENT WAR LIKE NO OTHER!
Goldman’s top brass are sounding the alarm on a fierce battle for talent against other investment banks, hedge funds, and asset managers. Solomon has proclaimed, “We’re ensuring that our extraordinary talent can enjoy opportunities as attractive as those elsewhere.” Sounds like they’re ready to throw wads of cash to keep their stars shining!
GOLDMAN SACHS: WHERE SOME FLY HIGH WHILE OTHERS STRUGGLE BELOW!
So there you have it – while the average worker is grinding away for a modest paycheck, the elite of Goldman Sachs are playing in a league of their own, filled with mega-bonuses and luxuries galore! What a world!
photo credit: www.ft.com
