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HOLY BASKETBALL! BOSTON CELTICS SET TO SWAP HANDS FOR A WHOPPING $6.1 BILLION – A RECORD-BREAKING MOVE!
In a jaw-dropping twist of fate, a consortium led by private equity mogul William Chisholm is on the brink of making NBA history! With a staggering $6.1 billion deal, the Boston Celtics are officially the most EXPENSIVE sports team ever sold in the United States! That’s right, folks—it’s time to pop the champagne, because the Celtics are about to reign supreme over ALL sports sales!
A NEW KING IS CROWNED IN BOSTON!
Say goodbye to the title held by NFL’s Washington Commanders, which was snatched up by buyout tycoon Josh Harris for a mere $6.05 billion last year. This sensational transaction is poised to drive the Celtics’ value even higher over the next three wild years!
A LEGENDARY BRAND WITH FINAL FOUR STARS!
The Celtics are not just any team; they’re an ICON! Fresh off snagging their record-breaking 18th NBA Championship, the Celtics have dethroned their arch-rivals, the Los Angeles Lakers! With rising superstars Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown shining brighter than ever, Boston is the place to be!
CHISHOLM’S DIEHARD DEVOTION!
Chisholm, the mastermind behind this monumental purchase and co-founder of the private equity powerhouse STG, is a self-proclaimed “diehard” Celtics fanatic! Describing the team’s unique pulse in Boston, he’s ready to take on the epic responsibility of leading this powerhouse! “I’m up for this challenge,” he boldly declared!
WHO ELSE IS IN THIS POWERFUL CONSORTIUM?
Joining Chisholm in this groundbreaking venture is heavy-hitter Sixth Street, led by the former Goldman Sachs whiz, Alan Waxman. They’re not just players in the Celtics game—Sixth Street has been racking up sports investments left and right, including the San Antonio Spurs and the San Francisco Giants—valued at a cool $3 billion, thank you very much!
A CELTICS LEGACY IN THE MAKING!
The Celtics were put up for sale last year by Boston Basketball Partners, who snagged the team for a measly $360 million in 2002. Wyc Grousbeck, the current big cheese in Celtics management, calls Chisholm a “natural choice” for the governor—someone who truly “wants to be a great owner.”
BIDDING WARS & EMOTIONS RUN HIGH!
But not everyone is thrilled! Stephen Pagliuca, an existing co-owner and rival bidder, shared his heartbreak, vowing, “I will never stop being a Celtic!” He’s ready to throw his hat back in should things go awry!
HOLD YOUR HORSES!
Before you celebrate, remember—the deal is still pending approval from the National Basketball Association! But no matter the outcome, one thing’s for sure: the Celtics’ legacy is blazing like never before, and the world of sports is watching! Stay tuned for what comes next!
photo credit: www.ft.com
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