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THE GREAT CRYPTO CRISIS: HAVE THE SUITCOINERS WON?

Bitcoin Maximalists? WHO ARE THEY EVEN? Once a powerful force, they’ve vanished into the shadows! The scene is now overrun by two factions: the Suitcoiners and the Degens. It’s chaos!

SUITCOINERS: THE WALL STREET WOLVES ATTACK! These corporate clowns are back, slinging the same toxic financial tricks that crashed the economy in 2008! They’re creating leveraged products on Bitcoin like it’s no big deal. Pure madness!

DEGENS: THE JPEGS ARE TAKING OVER! Obsessed with weird blockchain art, these cypherpunks are fixated on owning digital doodles! It’s a mind-boggling obsession that could make anyone’s head spin!

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BITCOIN DREAM? The original vision has been hijacked! The atmosphere is filled with a mix of brain-dead suit-think and meaningless digital clutter. Instead of empowering lives, it’s spiraling into an abyss of absurdity!

NEW ENTRANTS: YOU’RE CHOOSING YOUR SIDE! As newcomers flock into the ecosystem, most will be led down the paths of the Suitcoiners or the Degens. Will they choose to be lost in corporate greed or diving into Degen nonsense?

I CHOOSE THE DEGENS! Sure, they’re wrapped up in silly antics, but they get it! They understand decentralization and censorship resistance. They know the importance of self-custody. No permissions needed!

SUITCOINERS: THE DOLLAR-HUNGRY TRADERS! These suit-clad sellouts don’t care about true value! They see decentralization as just a buzzword—living in the safe, pristine walls of the legacy system while Bitcoin’s potential fades away!

IT’S NOW OR NEVER! If decentralization dies, Bitcoin becomes just another stonk, shackled to the old ways. No more permissionless money. No more internet currency. Just a diluted version of what it was meant to be!

WAKE UP, CRYPTO COMMUNITY! If we don’t take a stand against the Suitcoiners, we’re doomed! I may not ride the Degen crazy train in every way, but they’re the only ones who appreciate true censorship resistance! At the end of the day, that’s all that matters!

THE BATTLE FOR BITCOIN HAS BEGUN! Choose wisely, people!