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SHOCKING CUTS: New HR Chief Declares War on Government Jobs!
Get Ready for a MASSIVE SHAKEUP! In a jaw-dropping move, Scott Kupor—the newly minted director of the Office of Personnel Management—has just dropped a bombshell! He’s set to "institutionalize" the radical efficiency drive launched by the infamous Doge, the brainchild of none other than tech titan Elon Musk!
Kupor’s mission? To slash approximately 1,000 government jobs at OPM alone—that’s nearly a THIRD of the workforce! And he’s not stopping there! Hundreds of contracts are on the chopping block too. Will anyone be safe?
MUSK’S BLUNT AXE OR A MORE REFLECTIVE CUT?
While Kupor distances himself from Musk’s shock-and-awe approach to budget slashing, he admits the Doge initiative has already stirred the pot. “What they did was catalyze a process,” he declared, ready to keep the spending scalpel sharp! The efficiency frenzy that started with Doge is here to stay!
But hang on—Kupor isn’t just rolling out the red carpet for chaos. He’s questioning the insane performance reviews that supposedly give 70% of federal employees top marks. Is this a wake-up call for the lazy government machine?
KUPOR HITS BACK: “I DON’T MIND GETTING RUN OUT OF TOWN!”
In an unexpectedly bold statement, he told reporters, “If I get run out of town because people don’t like what I’m doing, I’m OK with that!” Kupor is here for the long haul, insisting that our government is careening towards fiscal disaster—and it’s time for drastic measures!
CRAZY TIMES AHEAD: DO YOU BELIEVE IN AI?
But wait, there’s more! Kupor dreams of revolutionizing the government with artificial intelligence! Imagine AI cutting down your wait times and simplifying public reviews—sounds out of this world! Could this be the beginning of a high-tech government makeover?
Are you ready for a new era of efficiency, or are you terrified of the implications? Buckle up, because the government job landscape is about to get WILD!
photo credit: www.ft.com
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